Relaxation

Today is the day we have been waiting for. We're eventually done with all the final examinations. Today is the last paper: Psyhcology. At least it boosted my confidence as I think I did relatively better than other papers, but the thing is that the graph might be scaled down due to its low level of difficulty. All the time we spent in this 1 1/2 years was just for the 5 papers.

I think that we're quite lucky this year since almost all of the papers were relatively easier than past year final papers but the graphs might be scaled down. I'm quite insecure about the ESL as I did not manage to finish it all, but ended up scribbling something just to guarantee that I at least wrote down something which would be worth some marks of sympathy. I was actually quite dejected at my performance in the ESL and Economics as they could ruin my dream to Australian National University (my dream university).

Well at first I could not let God handle this as it has been my dream since I got a Public Service Department Scholarship. After much pondering, I thought 'hey, I could not even handle the stress in SAM. How am I even able to handle the potential stress we might have in ANU since many geniuses will be there? I'm just an ordinary student whose results are only so-so - not too bad and not too good.' So yeah, I have eventually decided to hand over this to God, and He shall decide everything as He knows what is best for His children. The University of Adelaide is not a bad choice, though, as I am not the kind of person who can work under intense stress like ANU. All I need is peace, a calm mind and low competition, that's it.

Right after the Psychology exam, I headed straight to the placement centre to enquire about Australian universities. After the officer had briefed us on it, I was like 'what? the expenditure on staying on campus is dearer than off campus?' Anyway, we're still vacillating between wanting to stay on and off campus.

Well anyway I pray that God will answer my prayer as to where to stay and all. God bless.

Will be relaxing and playing as much as possible in these 3 months, but must also take into account the financial constraint =D

Dreams to Achieve before I Die

1. Going to my dream university for my Bachelor's degree: Australian National University

2. Having a clique of Caucasian friends (been my dream since very very small), or 1 Caucasian BEST friend will do.

3. Going to my another dream university for Master's: University of Oxford

4. Opening a law firm that belongs to me

5. Making a lot of money (I don't need to be a millionaire, anyway)

6. Providing scholarships for poor students to further their studies

7. Travelling around the world (specifically Enropean countries like Switzerland)

8. Having a loving wife

9. Having lovely children (Must be English-speaking but Chinese-educated)

10. Harmonious family

12. Dwelling in a European country

God

We do something not for people, but for ourselves.

Have been afraid of people's negative judgment. Now I realize that it is so wrong.

We must continue serving God.

And, I will!

Truman (True Man)

We just watched a movie, the main character in which is 'Truman' (Sorry I don't know the title of the movie). We were so entertained by the movie without realizing that there're actually a lot of implications in it. These were some of the questions raised by my Psychology teacher, Ms Audrey, which we had never thought about:

Q: Did you realize that African Americans only appear once throughout the movie? Do you think that racial prejudice still exists and that it still needs a long time to totally disappear?

A: Yes. I'd ascribe racial prejudice to the existence of racial status. The richer the nation, the more superior they think they are. Unless all races are on a par in the social, economic and educational aspects, the disappearance of racial prejudice will never happen. It's just like how we view those poor countries - it is actually the same concept.

Q: If there existed two different worlds, that is, harsh reality and bliss, would you rather stay in bliss or step out to experience harsh reality?

A: That'd depend on what kind of environment the person is in now. If he is facing harsh realities now, perhaps he'll choose to stay in bliss forever for he's experienced a lot throughout his life. It's time to put a stop to the imminent burden. It also depends on how courageous you are to step out.

Q: How thick a social mask a person has to wear to socialize? Do you think it is likely that a person can socialize well without having to wear social mask?

A: Socializing, indeed, needs social masks. It is very hard to take down our social masks unless we are extremely close to our friends. A person with too high a superego tends to always show respect for others - respect is a barrier to a smooth flow of communication between two people, and will make friendship or relationship unable to proceed further. Joking in the form of a tease, I think, will foster better relationships with other people. That's why a confortable conversation needs a slight tease to enhance relationships.

Q: How many percentage do you think is our real self and social expectation of us?

A: Once we were born, we have already been charged with responsibilities, for example, contributing to society in future, becoming a responsible parent to ensure the well-being of our children, and so on. We have also been bound by social expectations since we were born, hence the existence of masculinity and femininity. Besides, we're also expected by parents to get good results, be filial obedient, and others. If you happen to be the eldest in you family, your burden will no doubt be heavier. In response to the question, I'd say it all depends on the kind of environment in which we were born. Perhaps we would be more of our real selfs if we were born rich as we do not need to shoulder so much burden, unlike those who were born poor.

We have to face predicaments in our journeys of life, and they are inevitable. So why not take it optimistically? :)