Realization

At first I held the opinion that being a scholar should be worthy of pride; it was after I had spent 4 months here in KL that I came to realize there actually is nothing to be proud of. I have been endeavouring to jettison my stress in studies but to no avail. Every sponsor, indubitably, has high expectations of the scholars sponsored, notably the academic results and the overall performances. Owing to that, I have learnt a lot of things here.

I start to realize that I need to be more gregarious as this is necessary when we go overseas. I used to stick with my close friends in the secondary school because my class was monumentally cliquey. We used to spend our time on the clubs we were responsible for without having it in mind to socialize with other people. It was until I came to KL that I have started to realize how bad my communication skills have become. I do not know how much time is needed for me to get used to it since my friends here are not as cliquey as my former class was, and it seems that there is no specific clique we can hold on to - or if there is, we usually do not share common interests.

I start to realize that it is not easy to force a sincere broad smile because I utterly do not think lame jokes are funny; some may find them hilarious, but I seriously do not see where the laughing points are. I can hardly see any laughing stock that is worth my effort laughing. I start to realize that bookworms can actually be very sociable as long as they know how to tell lame jokes so that they can be the centre of attention. I start to realize that lame jokes will be in place of hilarious jokes when the latter is scarce.

I start to realize that the world is not as perfect as I thought. Everyone has his own strengths and flaws. When we do group work such as assignments and presentations, productive work will be produced when we do them using our strengths and overcome our weaknesses. Cooperation is, undeniably, of the essence when it comes to group work.

I start to realize that there are different people with different personalities. I feel so proud to have friends who are accommodating and willing to accompany me all along my journey. I am also proud to have friends who are extremely straightforward so that I realize my mistakes. I am proud to have friends who are obliging at all times. I feel proud to have friends who are always willing to teach and guide me when it comes to the things I do not really get the hang of. I appreciate them so much.

I dislike people who ask you to stop when you tell them your problems, and ask you not to criticize people because you yourself are not capable. I dislike people who say 'Fine, everything will be okay. No worries' when you tell them your problems without showing empathy. I dislike people who always tease other people and when they are teased, they become so protective that they will scold you back. I dislike people who forget your existence when they have found a bunch of new friends unless you treat them to something. These are the flaws of human beings I have discovered thus far.

Many a time I cannot find time for myself to chat with my housemates and friends because of my homework. I am not the kind of person who is able to memorise things in no time as my housemates and friends are, so I need a lot of time to do my revision to get better results.

However, I cherish what God has planned for me because He alone knows what is best for us. I know that there are still a lot of challenges ahead of me, be relationship with people or academic performance, I will still put effort into solving different kind of hardships.