Relaxation

Today is the day we have been waiting for. We're eventually done with all the final examinations. Today is the last paper: Psyhcology. At least it boosted my confidence as I think I did relatively better than other papers, but the thing is that the graph might be scaled down due to its low level of difficulty. All the time we spent in this 1 1/2 years was just for the 5 papers.

I think that we're quite lucky this year since almost all of the papers were relatively easier than past year final papers but the graphs might be scaled down. I'm quite insecure about the ESL as I did not manage to finish it all, but ended up scribbling something just to guarantee that I at least wrote down something which would be worth some marks of sympathy. I was actually quite dejected at my performance in the ESL and Economics as they could ruin my dream to Australian National University (my dream university).

Well at first I could not let God handle this as it has been my dream since I got a Public Service Department Scholarship. After much pondering, I thought 'hey, I could not even handle the stress in SAM. How am I even able to handle the potential stress we might have in ANU since many geniuses will be there? I'm just an ordinary student whose results are only so-so - not too bad and not too good.' So yeah, I have eventually decided to hand over this to God, and He shall decide everything as He knows what is best for His children. The University of Adelaide is not a bad choice, though, as I am not the kind of person who can work under intense stress like ANU. All I need is peace, a calm mind and low competition, that's it.

Right after the Psychology exam, I headed straight to the placement centre to enquire about Australian universities. After the officer had briefed us on it, I was like 'what? the expenditure on staying on campus is dearer than off campus?' Anyway, we're still vacillating between wanting to stay on and off campus.

Well anyway I pray that God will answer my prayer as to where to stay and all. God bless.

Will be relaxing and playing as much as possible in these 3 months, but must also take into account the financial constraint =D

Dreams to Achieve before I Die

1. Going to my dream university for my Bachelor's degree: Australian National University

2. Having a clique of Caucasian friends (been my dream since very very small), or 1 Caucasian BEST friend will do.

3. Going to my another dream university for Master's: University of Oxford

4. Opening a law firm that belongs to me

5. Making a lot of money (I don't need to be a millionaire, anyway)

6. Providing scholarships for poor students to further their studies

7. Travelling around the world (specifically Enropean countries like Switzerland)

8. Having a loving wife

9. Having lovely children (Must be English-speaking but Chinese-educated)

10. Harmonious family

12. Dwelling in a European country

God

We do something not for people, but for ourselves.

Have been afraid of people's negative judgment. Now I realize that it is so wrong.

We must continue serving God.

And, I will!

Truman (True Man)

We just watched a movie, the main character in which is 'Truman' (Sorry I don't know the title of the movie). We were so entertained by the movie without realizing that there're actually a lot of implications in it. These were some of the questions raised by my Psychology teacher, Ms Audrey, which we had never thought about:

Q: Did you realize that African Americans only appear once throughout the movie? Do you think that racial prejudice still exists and that it still needs a long time to totally disappear?

A: Yes. I'd ascribe racial prejudice to the existence of racial status. The richer the nation, the more superior they think they are. Unless all races are on a par in the social, economic and educational aspects, the disappearance of racial prejudice will never happen. It's just like how we view those poor countries - it is actually the same concept.

Q: If there existed two different worlds, that is, harsh reality and bliss, would you rather stay in bliss or step out to experience harsh reality?

A: That'd depend on what kind of environment the person is in now. If he is facing harsh realities now, perhaps he'll choose to stay in bliss forever for he's experienced a lot throughout his life. It's time to put a stop to the imminent burden. It also depends on how courageous you are to step out.

Q: How thick a social mask a person has to wear to socialize? Do you think it is likely that a person can socialize well without having to wear social mask?

A: Socializing, indeed, needs social masks. It is very hard to take down our social masks unless we are extremely close to our friends. A person with too high a superego tends to always show respect for others - respect is a barrier to a smooth flow of communication between two people, and will make friendship or relationship unable to proceed further. Joking in the form of a tease, I think, will foster better relationships with other people. That's why a confortable conversation needs a slight tease to enhance relationships.

Q: How many percentage do you think is our real self and social expectation of us?

A: Once we were born, we have already been charged with responsibilities, for example, contributing to society in future, becoming a responsible parent to ensure the well-being of our children, and so on. We have also been bound by social expectations since we were born, hence the existence of masculinity and femininity. Besides, we're also expected by parents to get good results, be filial obedient, and others. If you happen to be the eldest in you family, your burden will no doubt be heavier. In response to the question, I'd say it all depends on the kind of environment in which we were born. Perhaps we would be more of our real selfs if we were born rich as we do not need to shoulder so much burden, unlike those who were born poor.

We have to face predicaments in our journeys of life, and they are inevitable. So why not take it optimistically? :)

Bond

With my stomach rumbling from hunger, I headed straight down to an Indian food stall to have my takeaway in Casa Subang.

“ Hello, See Weng.” I picked up a call while waiting for my takeaway, I could swiftly recognize that it was Soonren.
“ Okay.”
“ Wa lao eh, okay?”
“ What’s the matter?”
Oh shoot! I regretted being so abrupt and stern, but, what the hell. Anything goes.
“ Well, will you be free on the 14th of December?”
“ Yes, I’ll be freaking free that day. Why?”
“ Oh, we’re planning to have a trip to Genting Highland. I was wondering if you can make it.”
“ It sounds cool! Well……” I hesitated for a while. “May I confirm with you later? Or maybe tonight? By the way, who’ll be going?”
“ Eng Sheng, Mun Kit, Say Tat, Wai Kit, Chan Fai, me and……”
“ How about Jiehson?”
“ Oh yeah, he’ll be going too.”
I was terribly tempted to the trip as the saying goes ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’. I, after all, had not met my old friends for ages since I came to KL, and what’s more they are all my close friends. After a while, a dilemma came striking as I did not know if I could cope well with my studies when I took 2 days off without applying myself to them.
I detest this! I hate myself for being a scholar! It’s time for me to make another decision again! Argh!
Night was falling, I was sitting right before my lappy.
“ So, how’s it? Can you make it?”
“ Oh well, count me in first.”

The story began.

We were asked to wait at the Seremban railway station, and so we did. It took us 3 hours or so to reach Genting Highland, as we went all the way there by three modes of transportation, by train, bus and cable car. It was so cool, I should say. No wave of nausea swept over me while I was in the cable car with my friends, since I have height phobia. That just felt very comfy inside, and we took a few pictures there.

Upon reaching, we checked in at the First World Hostel, then it was the right time to be completely insane and crazy!!!
One of my friends suggested that we go and try the roller coaster; I was like ‘Seriously? Or why not we go for a warm-up before we do something really thrilling?’ After my idea was approved of, we started to the Mining Coaster.

Since the Mining Coaster was the first thing we attempted to play with, many people felt suppressed to cry out loud, although it was quite terrible, especially when it slanted 90 degrees and felt like falling.

Well, I think the most wonderful and amazing games were Bumper Cars and Snow World.

It had been such a long time since we became so crazy. While we were sitting in the Pirate Ship, We shouted as if the next minute would be the end of the world. Once we started off with shouting, everyone in the same Ship followed.

Crazy~

Nice Ending~

How Time Flies

How time flies. The South Australian Matriculation first term ended just in the twinkling of an eye unconsciously. It is, however, worth reminiscing about what has happened to us over a period of four months. Short though it is, we have actually built up solid camaraderie and friendship. Hence, I am now going to outline a brief account for the four-month life here.

My unit consists of 7 members altogether : Tao, Zubin, Jarry, Caleb, Danny, Yong Fung and I.

Tao: Knows how to play the guitar, and this is, undoubtedly, the reason why quite a number of girls are so obssessed with him. Macho, every girl knows it. A big fan of Bruce Lee. The first person who discovered my dirty little secret. He, too, has a lot of dirty little secrets which only guys in our unit are allowed to know.

Zubin: The most accommodating guy in our unit. He has always been willing to sacrifice his time just to accompany his friend(s) to go here and there. Outgoing. Acts as a typical father for always calling us out for dinner. My mortal.

Jarry: Lame joke king. The most brilliant in the unit. Acts as our typical mother for always rousing us from sleep every morning. The last person who discovered my dirty little secret.

Caleb: Cannot survive without Dota. Has a proclivity for doing revision at the eleventh hour, yet his results are always better than anyone else. Stumbled across my dirty little secret without me realizing it.

Danny: Chatterbox. Knowledgeable. Adventurous. Shopaholic. Generous for he always lends me his notes.

Yong Fung: Always sleeps in his friend's unit.

Well, it was only after I had arrived here that I came to realize my severe nerdiness. However, I have learnt a lot things from they all. I know how to play basketball. I've been to a few events such as the Dance Arena and the All-American-Rejects concert.

Here are the 7 special people whom I would like to acknowledge their support and care.

Hanshen: Always shares his stuff with me. Gives advice. My faithful listener.

Jocinda: Funny stuff. Been to a few events with me. We practised together when the exams were approaching. My listener.

Beeling: Spent hours to talk and minutes to laugh. My listener.

Yuyu: Gave advice when I failed my Maths. Spent time ice skating.

Sharveen: Spent time doing revision together, it helped to bits. Told me about a change in me when I myself did not even realize it.

Wallace: A good friend of mine. Took meticulous care of people when his friends fell sick. Warm.

Talitha: Just came to realize that she has sacrificed a lot silently without wanting people's acknowledgement and that there was no her in the e-portfolio.

Faith

Perhaps I did not have enough faith in God. I went to church these past few weeks, and I learnt a lot there. Before I accepted Christ, I did not feel anything and have strength to face hardship. Now, I feel much better since I have started attending church. When I feel utterly stressed out or worn out, I will feel very peaceful and calm after singing praise and worship. According to Danny, my lovely housemate, it is because the Holy Spirit has taken away all of your stress so you'll feel better. Thanks him for enlightening me about that.

I am taught about forgiveness in church. Sometimes I would wonder if there would still be the force, lawyers and armies if there were to exist complete forgiveness. Guess not. When I was taught about forgiveness, I was so inspired and I'm learning to forgive people now. Glad that I do not make enemies and I never hate anyone. So I need not forgive anyone. XD Give me a standing ovation, will you? Well, it is, in fact, not easy to forgive someone - if it was, there would not be so many cases and wars that had induced so many deaths. So people, learn to forgive.

I had always thought that the world only revolved around my close friends and our own topics of conversation. Well, u can see me very talkactive and laugh a lot when it comes to certain topics of conversation I am interested in. However, I will remain absolute silent when it comes to general knowledge and lame jokes. I surrender! I am trying to accept, though. Perhaps God wants me to be exposed more as He seems implying that there are still many people having different characteristics and personalities that we must try to mingle around with.

Sometimes when you pray to God and tell Him how you want something to come true, it may not go as smoothly as you desired it to because it needs time and God knows what and when it is best for us. So we need to be patient and wait for Him to answer our prayers. The most important thing is that we always need to have full trust in Him and stay wherever we are. Do not compare with other people because He himself has His plans for us.

Sometimes I do not feel like talking - I do not know whether this is a "maturity syndrome" or whatever it is, but just do not feel like it. I want to be the real me again : a person who always laughs for hours as he used to, a person who talks a lot as he used to, a person who likes games as he used to. It is time for me to seek the REAL ME again after wandering for so long. It's for me to lean on Him again. Be done, Amen.