God

We do something not for people, but for ourselves.

Have been afraid of people's negative judgment. Now I realize that it is so wrong.

We must continue serving God.

And, I will!

Truman (True Man)

We just watched a movie, the main character in which is 'Truman' (Sorry I don't know the title of the movie). We were so entertained by the movie without realizing that there're actually a lot of implications in it. These were some of the questions raised by my Psychology teacher, Ms Audrey, which we had never thought about:

Q: Did you realize that African Americans only appear once throughout the movie? Do you think that racial prejudice still exists and that it still needs a long time to totally disappear?

A: Yes. I'd ascribe racial prejudice to the existence of racial status. The richer the nation, the more superior they think they are. Unless all races are on a par in the social, economic and educational aspects, the disappearance of racial prejudice will never happen. It's just like how we view those poor countries - it is actually the same concept.

Q: If there existed two different worlds, that is, harsh reality and bliss, would you rather stay in bliss or step out to experience harsh reality?

A: That'd depend on what kind of environment the person is in now. If he is facing harsh realities now, perhaps he'll choose to stay in bliss forever for he's experienced a lot throughout his life. It's time to put a stop to the imminent burden. It also depends on how courageous you are to step out.

Q: How thick a social mask a person has to wear to socialize? Do you think it is likely that a person can socialize well without having to wear social mask?

A: Socializing, indeed, needs social masks. It is very hard to take down our social masks unless we are extremely close to our friends. A person with too high a superego tends to always show respect for others - respect is a barrier to a smooth flow of communication between two people, and will make friendship or relationship unable to proceed further. Joking in the form of a tease, I think, will foster better relationships with other people. That's why a confortable conversation needs a slight tease to enhance relationships.

Q: How many percentage do you think is our real self and social expectation of us?

A: Once we were born, we have already been charged with responsibilities, for example, contributing to society in future, becoming a responsible parent to ensure the well-being of our children, and so on. We have also been bound by social expectations since we were born, hence the existence of masculinity and femininity. Besides, we're also expected by parents to get good results, be filial obedient, and others. If you happen to be the eldest in you family, your burden will no doubt be heavier. In response to the question, I'd say it all depends on the kind of environment in which we were born. Perhaps we would be more of our real selfs if we were born rich as we do not need to shoulder so much burden, unlike those who were born poor.

We have to face predicaments in our journeys of life, and they are inevitable. So why not take it optimistically? :)

Bond

With my stomach rumbling from hunger, I headed straight down to an Indian food stall to have my takeaway in Casa Subang.

“ Hello, See Weng.” I picked up a call while waiting for my takeaway, I could swiftly recognize that it was Soonren.
“ Okay.”
“ Wa lao eh, okay?”
“ What’s the matter?”
Oh shoot! I regretted being so abrupt and stern, but, what the hell. Anything goes.
“ Well, will you be free on the 14th of December?”
“ Yes, I’ll be freaking free that day. Why?”
“ Oh, we’re planning to have a trip to Genting Highland. I was wondering if you can make it.”
“ It sounds cool! Well……” I hesitated for a while. “May I confirm with you later? Or maybe tonight? By the way, who’ll be going?”
“ Eng Sheng, Mun Kit, Say Tat, Wai Kit, Chan Fai, me and……”
“ How about Jiehson?”
“ Oh yeah, he’ll be going too.”
I was terribly tempted to the trip as the saying goes ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’. I, after all, had not met my old friends for ages since I came to KL, and what’s more they are all my close friends. After a while, a dilemma came striking as I did not know if I could cope well with my studies when I took 2 days off without applying myself to them.
I detest this! I hate myself for being a scholar! It’s time for me to make another decision again! Argh!
Night was falling, I was sitting right before my lappy.
“ So, how’s it? Can you make it?”
“ Oh well, count me in first.”

The story began.

We were asked to wait at the Seremban railway station, and so we did. It took us 3 hours or so to reach Genting Highland, as we went all the way there by three modes of transportation, by train, bus and cable car. It was so cool, I should say. No wave of nausea swept over me while I was in the cable car with my friends, since I have height phobia. That just felt very comfy inside, and we took a few pictures there.

Upon reaching, we checked in at the First World Hostel, then it was the right time to be completely insane and crazy!!!
One of my friends suggested that we go and try the roller coaster; I was like ‘Seriously? Or why not we go for a warm-up before we do something really thrilling?’ After my idea was approved of, we started to the Mining Coaster.

Since the Mining Coaster was the first thing we attempted to play with, many people felt suppressed to cry out loud, although it was quite terrible, especially when it slanted 90 degrees and felt like falling.

Well, I think the most wonderful and amazing games were Bumper Cars and Snow World.

It had been such a long time since we became so crazy. While we were sitting in the Pirate Ship, We shouted as if the next minute would be the end of the world. Once we started off with shouting, everyone in the same Ship followed.

Crazy~

Nice Ending~

How Time Flies

How time flies. The South Australian Matriculation first term ended just in the twinkling of an eye unconsciously. It is, however, worth reminiscing about what has happened to us over a period of four months. Short though it is, we have actually built up solid camaraderie and friendship. Hence, I am now going to outline a brief account for the four-month life here.

My unit consists of 7 members altogether : Tao, Zubin, Jarry, Caleb, Danny, Yong Fung and I.

Tao: Knows how to play the guitar, and this is, undoubtedly, the reason why quite a number of girls are so obssessed with him. Macho, every girl knows it. A big fan of Bruce Lee. The first person who discovered my dirty little secret. He, too, has a lot of dirty little secrets which only guys in our unit are allowed to know.

Zubin: The most accommodating guy in our unit. He has always been willing to sacrifice his time just to accompany his friend(s) to go here and there. Outgoing. Acts as a typical father for always calling us out for dinner. My mortal.

Jarry: Lame joke king. The most brilliant in the unit. Acts as our typical mother for always rousing us from sleep every morning. The last person who discovered my dirty little secret.

Caleb: Cannot survive without Dota. Has a proclivity for doing revision at the eleventh hour, yet his results are always better than anyone else. Stumbled across my dirty little secret without me realizing it.

Danny: Chatterbox. Knowledgeable. Adventurous. Shopaholic. Generous for he always lends me his notes.

Yong Fung: Always sleeps in his friend's unit.

Well, it was only after I had arrived here that I came to realize my severe nerdiness. However, I have learnt a lot things from they all. I know how to play basketball. I've been to a few events such as the Dance Arena and the All-American-Rejects concert.

Here are the 7 special people whom I would like to acknowledge their support and care.

Hanshen: Always shares his stuff with me. Gives advice. My faithful listener.

Jocinda: Funny stuff. Been to a few events with me. We practised together when the exams were approaching. My listener.

Beeling: Spent hours to talk and minutes to laugh. My listener.

Yuyu: Gave advice when I failed my Maths. Spent time ice skating.

Sharveen: Spent time doing revision together, it helped to bits. Told me about a change in me when I myself did not even realize it.

Wallace: A good friend of mine. Took meticulous care of people when his friends fell sick. Warm.

Talitha: Just came to realize that she has sacrificed a lot silently without wanting people's acknowledgement and that there was no her in the e-portfolio.

Faith

Perhaps I did not have enough faith in God. I went to church these past few weeks, and I learnt a lot there. Before I accepted Christ, I did not feel anything and have strength to face hardship. Now, I feel much better since I have started attending church. When I feel utterly stressed out or worn out, I will feel very peaceful and calm after singing praise and worship. According to Danny, my lovely housemate, it is because the Holy Spirit has taken away all of your stress so you'll feel better. Thanks him for enlightening me about that.

I am taught about forgiveness in church. Sometimes I would wonder if there would still be the force, lawyers and armies if there were to exist complete forgiveness. Guess not. When I was taught about forgiveness, I was so inspired and I'm learning to forgive people now. Glad that I do not make enemies and I never hate anyone. So I need not forgive anyone. XD Give me a standing ovation, will you? Well, it is, in fact, not easy to forgive someone - if it was, there would not be so many cases and wars that had induced so many deaths. So people, learn to forgive.

I had always thought that the world only revolved around my close friends and our own topics of conversation. Well, u can see me very talkactive and laugh a lot when it comes to certain topics of conversation I am interested in. However, I will remain absolute silent when it comes to general knowledge and lame jokes. I surrender! I am trying to accept, though. Perhaps God wants me to be exposed more as He seems implying that there are still many people having different characteristics and personalities that we must try to mingle around with.

Sometimes when you pray to God and tell Him how you want something to come true, it may not go as smoothly as you desired it to because it needs time and God knows what and when it is best for us. So we need to be patient and wait for Him to answer our prayers. The most important thing is that we always need to have full trust in Him and stay wherever we are. Do not compare with other people because He himself has His plans for us.

Sometimes I do not feel like talking - I do not know whether this is a "maturity syndrome" or whatever it is, but just do not feel like it. I want to be the real me again : a person who always laughs for hours as he used to, a person who talks a lot as he used to, a person who likes games as he used to. It is time for me to seek the REAL ME again after wandering for so long. It's for me to lean on Him again. Be done, Amen.

Realization

At first I held the opinion that being a scholar should be worthy of pride; it was after I had spent 4 months here in KL that I came to realize there actually is nothing to be proud of. I have been endeavouring to jettison my stress in studies but to no avail. Every sponsor, indubitably, has high expectations of the scholars sponsored, notably the academic results and the overall performances. Owing to that, I have learnt a lot of things here.

I start to realize that I need to be more gregarious as this is necessary when we go overseas. I used to stick with my close friends in the secondary school because my class was monumentally cliquey. We used to spend our time on the clubs we were responsible for without having it in mind to socialize with other people. It was until I came to KL that I have started to realize how bad my communication skills have become. I do not know how much time is needed for me to get used to it since my friends here are not as cliquey as my former class was, and it seems that there is no specific clique we can hold on to - or if there is, we usually do not share common interests.

I start to realize that it is not easy to force a sincere broad smile because I utterly do not think lame jokes are funny; some may find them hilarious, but I seriously do not see where the laughing points are. I can hardly see any laughing stock that is worth my effort laughing. I start to realize that bookworms can actually be very sociable as long as they know how to tell lame jokes so that they can be the centre of attention. I start to realize that lame jokes will be in place of hilarious jokes when the latter is scarce.

I start to realize that the world is not as perfect as I thought. Everyone has his own strengths and flaws. When we do group work such as assignments and presentations, productive work will be produced when we do them using our strengths and overcome our weaknesses. Cooperation is, undeniably, of the essence when it comes to group work.

I start to realize that there are different people with different personalities. I feel so proud to have friends who are accommodating and willing to accompany me all along my journey. I am also proud to have friends who are extremely straightforward so that I realize my mistakes. I am proud to have friends who are obliging at all times. I feel proud to have friends who are always willing to teach and guide me when it comes to the things I do not really get the hang of. I appreciate them so much.

I dislike people who ask you to stop when you tell them your problems, and ask you not to criticize people because you yourself are not capable. I dislike people who say 'Fine, everything will be okay. No worries' when you tell them your problems without showing empathy. I dislike people who always tease other people and when they are teased, they become so protective that they will scold you back. I dislike people who forget your existence when they have found a bunch of new friends unless you treat them to something. These are the flaws of human beings I have discovered thus far.

Many a time I cannot find time for myself to chat with my housemates and friends because of my homework. I am not the kind of person who is able to memorise things in no time as my housemates and friends are, so I need a lot of time to do my revision to get better results.

However, I cherish what God has planned for me because He alone knows what is best for us. I know that there are still a lot of challenges ahead of me, be relationship with people or academic performance, I will still put effort into solving different kind of hardships.

IELTS Speaking Test

It had been weeks since I started preparing for IELTS, notably listening and speaking. First off, I would like to bid a thousand of thanks to my beloved classmates, especially Jo, Amira and Ariah for their patience with my crap all along.

It was after my English teacher had conducted a speaking practice for us that a horrible thought occurred to me. It all went so well while we were being tested. However, she made a comment on our performances; constructive though it was, it demoralized our confidence as she thought that we were not up to the standards expected yet. So, fine.

We started practising speaking in preparation of the coming IELTS tests just a few days ago. First, it was to ensure that we could at least spot some of the questions that might be asked. Second, it was to ensure the fluency and the flow of the language. When the day we were to sit for the speaking test arrived, we wandered round to have people ask us some questions in order to improve ourselves. When I was told that there would be 50% locals and 50% Australians of the interviews, I was like ' What? There will be Australians? Oh man, I suck at listening to their accent. Hopefully my interview will not be an Australian.' And why would I have such kind of thought? It was because I once went for a talk given by Mr. Tony Christianson at Taylor's and I utterly could not grasp every single word of his. So I prayed that disaster would not strike.

My test should have commenced at 4pm but since I had received a call from one of the examiners at 2pm asking me to get to the speaking hall in 10 minutes, I rushed all the way to the hall to make sure the test was still on. I went to the hall and had myself registered, then the person in-charge asked me to take a seat before the candidates being interview came out, so I did. Curiosity once aroused was impossible to suppress. I swiftly peeked into all the three interview rooms and took a glimpse at the interviews to see how they looked like. Well, the interviewer in the first room was an Indian, she looked so stern that I thought everyone who had seen her might be afraid of her owing to Brian's HARSH comment on her. The one in the second room was a Chinese lady who looked quite polite and modern. The one in the third room was an Australian Caucasian. It was after all the candidates had walked out of the interview rooms that I felt things were getting queerer because I was not asked to go for the test yet.

I approached the teacher there for enquiry about my interview room. I was totally stunned the moment I was notified that I was to go into the third room. I took a deep breath, then slowly I walked into the room after knocking on the door. I bade the interviewer good evening, and he replied : ' Good afternoon, please be seated.' I was like ' Oh my gosh, what did I say just now?' While he was checking my personal details, I swiftly scanned through the page that was right in front of me in the hope that the questions on the page I was scanning through would be the questions he would ask.

This is how it went.

' When do you read normally?' queried he.

' Sorry, could you please repeat the question again?' asked I, having misheard what he asked.

' WHEN do you read normally?' queried he again, raising his voice.

' Sorry?'

' WHEEEEEENNNNNN do you read normally?'

' Oh I see, I usually ......' answered I.

After the speaking test ended, he said : ' Hey, wish to see you again.' I was like : ' Do you really wish to?' And the questions he asked were not the ones I saw on the page. So there were quite a few questions I did not really know how to answer due to the malfunction of my crapping system.

This is the first time I've been tested by a Caucasian face-to-face. Guess it's time I polised my listening skills so that I'll be used to their accent. People, I heard that ESL listening is very much harder than IELTS!!!